Chode Picks – Week 4

Good morning readers, and thanks again for wasting a brief portion of your precious time to read the worthless collection of rants that I call the Chode Picks! It’s currently Thursday night in Madison and I’m gearing up for another brutal weekend of watching football and murdering my liver 12 ounces at a time. Presently though, I’m holding off on the beer. “Why?” you ask, oblivious to the fact that I can’t hear you through your smartphone screen. Well friends, it’s certainly not because I have clinic tomorrow morning. More likely because I’ve just invented the next beverage that will revolutionize the way we alter our brain chemistry: chocolate milk and vodka. I call it coffee, because it makes me cough. Delicious. Try some today.

This week’s edition of the Chode Picks is brought to you by Kemps and Karkov.

You might remember last week when I confidently predicted that the Green Bay Packers would rise back above .500 with a victory over the stupid Lions. Unfortunately, I couldn’t foresee our starting offensive line being replaced by a bunch of 8th graders, allowing Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairley to take a giant steaming dump on our offense. Also, Aaron Rodgers looked strangely human in only throwing for one touchdown and missing a late pass to an open Jordy Nelson in the endzone. That’s alright, he’s due for one of these games a season, and I’m glad we got it out of the way early. Fortunately, we have a virtual two-week bye with games against the Bears and Vikings next on the schedule. Hey, speaking of…

GREEN BAY PACKERS (1-2) at CHICAGO BEARS (2-1)

Despite the fact that I have to wake up before noon to watch it on Sunday, I think this game is going to make me very happy. You see, the Bears have played just well enough to give Chicago fans a faint glimmer of hope, and we all know what comes next. The Bears come out and lose in agonizing fashion, leaving their dumbass supporters with that all too familiar sense of feeling stupid after falling for it yet again. Also, Julius Peppers. Julius motherfucking Peppers. He had to spend half a decade pretending to support that shitbag Cutler. You think he might be just a little excited to plant him face-first into the turf? I’m at half-mast just thinking about it. Better move on.

GREEN BAY by 3

*cough*

SOUTH FLORIDA BULLS (2-2) at #19 WISCONSIN BADGERS (2-1)

Considering that the AP and USA Today rankings don’t mean shit now that we have a playoff selection committee, maybe I ought to stop putting them in front of college teams this year. On the other hand, it provides just one more metric that proves we’re superior to Minnesota and Illinois. It stays for now. And this game is going to be another blowout. The Bulls gave up 315 rushing yards against NC State two weeks ago. If Gary Andersen wanted to be a dick, he could have our third-string running back (who’s name I’m not going to attempt to spell) get that many by halftime. Last Saturday’s massacre of Bowling Green made me feel much better about the upcoming Big Ten schedule. But I’m still really concerned about our passing game, with Tanner McEvridge showing little improvement from week to week. And damn it, we’re gonna need some pretense of a passing game if we plan on going to our biggest rival’s stadium and knocking them off next week. Yeah, that’s right. I just called Northwestern our biggest rival. Quick, for 15 Chode points, somebody name the last time we won in Evanston! It took me a while to find it. Anyways, the Badgers are going to crush the Bulls just like how the Miami Heat has crushed the Bulls over the past four seasons.

WISCONSIN by 20

Speaking of basketball, I just remembered that I need to mend fences with a man whose name I have slandered countless times in the Chode Picks: Bill Simmons. Never mind that he probably won’t ever read a single edition of the Chode Picks, he did something this week that makes him somewhat of a hero in this industry (journalism, not medicine). He called out Roger Goodell for being a hypocritical, lying shithead on his podcast. How did ESPN respond? By suspending their best writer for 3 weeks. And although we may have had our differences in the past (mostly because he’s a huge homer and cries like a bitch when things don’t go the Celtics’/Patriots’ way), he’s earned a respectful shout-out in the Picks this week by going where no journalist has had the balls to go before; laying out in explicit detail what a GIGANTIC FUCKING COCKBAG ROGER GOODELL IS!! And although I know plenty of people have called for Goodell’s head this season (figuratively), I’ll go a step further and offer one thousand Chode points to anyone in Connecticut who leaves a flaming bag of shit at ESPN’s corporate headquarters (literally). Because that’s how well they’ve handled the NFL’s PR issues this season. Fuck you with a spork, ESPN.

Hold up. I need to brew another mug of coffee.

As long as we’re on the topic of writers and suspensions, I forgot to address my long-separated brother Dan “The Bastard” LeBatard over the past 3 weeks. You see, over the past four years there have been only two major media members with the balls to vociferously defend Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and the rest of the greatest basketball team ever assembled against the horde of jealous, bitchy journalists: me and Dan. So I found it particularly hilarious when he offered a local Cleveland newspaper $100,000 to run a full-page ad reading “You’re welcome LeBron. Love, Miami”. Of course, this kicked off a storm of rage emanating from northeast Ohio and the Cleveland Plain Dealer angrily informed LeBatard that they would never, ever take his dirty money to besmirch the hallowed name of LeBron James. But as it turns out, billboards in Akron are a hell of a lot cheaper, you get them for a full month and their owners don’t give a damn about protecting local athletes. So Brass Balls Dan bought six of them for less than $12,000 instead, and the Cleveland Plain Dealer threw a picture of the billboards on their front page the next week. For free. Point, LeBatard.
Naturally, the Worldwide Leader in Sports hates all things fun and good in life, so they suspended Dan for two days. So again EPSN, fuck you with a thousand serrated metal sporks.

MY FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAMS (2-4) vs EVERYONE ELSE (28-26)

I don’t know why I keep throwing $20 away every season. Clearly I suck at this. Once again, team Rice Beaters was cold-cocked by a firm roundhouse of fantasy highlights last week, and Adrian BeaterSon got taken behind the woodshed and flogged with a stick. I need a new hobby. Fantasy basketball, anyone?

… anyone?

EVERYONE ELSE by 30

ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS (3-1) at #6 TEXAS A&M AGGIES (4-0)

LOL. Good luck, Bielema. You know, last year Beer Belly Bret’s crew started the season 3-1 also. Want to know how that season ended? WITH ZERO WINS AND EIGHT MORE LOSSES HAHAHAHA!! Unfortunately, the powerhouse University of Alabama-Birmingham is on the schedule this year, so Arkansas might be able to scrape their way to 4-8 this season. If they make a bowl game I’ll eat my cheesehead. Oh by the way, that reminds me; why the hell doesn’t anyone else wear cheeseheads to Badger games? If there’s one college in the country that should, it’s Wisconsin. Especially when Nebraska comes to town, because those stupid corn hats are hideous and we can flaunt our headwear superiority as we hurl obscenities at the elderly and score 70 on the blackshirts. Plus, a cheesehead keeps your head dry during rain games since you can’t bring umbrellas in. Fifteen Chode points to anyone who wears a cheesehead to a Badger game this season and takes a picture. Suck it, Viking/Bear fans.

TEXAS A&M by 3x10^8

Well, time to call it a wrap for the week. Come early to pregame at 43 Lathrop tomorrow and I’ll get you a present. And by present, I mean I’ll throw lemons at you.

Fun fact: in both 2012 and 2013, the Green Bay Packers began the season 1-2. In both 2012 and 2013, the Green Bay Packers won the NFC North.

Goodbye, Derek Jeter.

-Chode Out.

Chode Picks – Week 3

Ladies and gentlemen (mostly gentlemen), welcome back to week 3 of the world’s foremost authority on all things sports, alcohol and otherwise, the Chode Picks!  Week 2 was a success, with the Green Bay Packers asserting their dominance over the powerhouse New York Jets and the Wisconsin Badgers finding a way not to lose over the bye week.  High-fives all around.  Furthermore, the Minnesota Vikings and Detroit Lions both got waxed by a couple of bottom feeders, putting the Pack in a tie for 1^st place in the NFC North.  The only blemish on the week was Colin Kaepernick throwing approximately 1,342 interceptions against the Bears, allowing Chicago to pull out an unlikely victory, but that’s alright because hey, fuck that guy too. So let’s get to the picks.  First and foremost…

ADRIAN PETERSON (0-1) vs TEXAS COURT SYSTEM (1-0)

This is what happens when you make a deal with Satan to come back from a torn ACL and win the MVP nine months later.  Or rather, this is what happens when you’re a shitty father and you live in a society that puts athletes on a pedestal and allows them to act like entitled pricks with no repercussions.  ‘Merica.  At least my team’s players only drink codeine like Kool-Aid, pop Vicodin like Skittles and grope high school girls in hot tubs (here’s to you, Chmura!).

TEXAS COURT SYSTEM by five years with parole

GREEN BAY PACKERS (1-1) at DETROIT LIONS (1-1)

Jordy Nelson is better than Calvin Johnson.  There, I said it and I’ll never take it back.  And I know this means at least one of my friends just stopped angrily closed his laptop and mentally flipped me off.  Whatever.  Every so often, God looks down from his eternal perch, points at a newborn and says “this one shall have balls carved out of fucking granite”.  As is the case with Jordan Raymond Nelson.  One of the proudest days of my life was this past summer when a random guy told me “you could pass for Jordy”.  You know what?  My first child, boy or girl, will be named Jordan Nelson Quilling. 

Sorry, I got a but sidetracked there.  My point is, the Packers are going to stomp the Lions and take our rightful place at the top of the division.

GREEN BAY by 14

BOWLING GREEN FALCONS (2-1) at  #19 WISCONSIN BADGERS (1-1)

Normally I would call this a trap game for the Badgers since Bowling Green beat Indiana last week, but we all know the Hoosiers are horseshit, so I’m actually not all that concerned.  Especially coming off of a bye week during which I can only assume the team worked on perfecting those two-yard hitches and screen passes that are the hallmark of every efficient passing offense.  Either way, if Gordon and Clemente don’t both crack 100 yards in this game I’m going to be somewhat disappointed.  Maybe we’ve been spoiled over the past five years, but I miss watching a Badger running back take a handoff and not be touched until he reaches the end zone 60 yards downfield.  More importantly, I’m waking up at 6:00 AM to enjoy one of the last warm-weather party atmospheres of 2014.  So if you’re in Madison, make your way to 45 Lathrop early in the morning for some beer and shenanigans.  Tell them the Chode sent you. 

WISCONSIN by 28

THIS WEEKEND (0-0) vs MY LIVER (0-82)

Ha.  Biggest mismatch of the season.  Let’s see, warm weather Badger home game plus a ton of friends from undergrad coming back to town plus my girlfriend’s 17^th birthday equals one small step for New Belgium Brewing company and one giant leap towards cirrhosis when I’m 60.

Just kidding.  She’s 22.  Happy birthday Dana, you’re famous now.

THIS WEEKEND by 36

USA BASKETBALL (163-8) vs REST OF WORLD (who cares??)

Raise your hand if you watched the World Cup final.  Put your hands down, you dirty liars.  I may have been the only man in Wisconsin watching the title game last Sunday, but I’d be lying if I told you it didn’t make me proud of my country to watch Kyrie Irving, Boogie Cousins and company smack around the helpless Serbians like Ray Rice’s wife in a casino elevator. ‘MERICA!!  You’re all shitty patriots.  Ten Chode Points to the first person to name all twelve members of the 2014 USA Basketball roster.

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA by infinity, forever.

This is kind of off-topic, but did any of you guys watch the video I posted in week 1?  Because those guys are coming to play at Memorial Union in Madison in February.  I’ve been told tickets are gonna be pretty cheap too.  2 Cellos.  Look them up on YouTube, they kick all kinds of ass.  If only we could book someone nearly as good for Halloween on State Street.  Hey, that gives me another idea.  Thirty Chode Points to anyone who writes to Dave Grohl and asks the Foo Fighters to play in Madison on Halloween next year.  One thousand Chode Points if he agrees to do it.  That would make my life.

A couple more random thoughts before I call it a week:

One-fifth of the beer sold annually in the United States is Bud Light.  Good God, that’s depressing.

I was reading today about a new jetpack designed to make soldiers run faster.  I’ll bet the French are fucking ecstatic.

Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Never sneak up
On Oscar Pistorius.

I apologize for the short edition, but I have some beer to drink.

Until next time,

-Chode Out.

Chode Picks – Week 2

Hello “friends”, and welcome back to the 9^th season of the Pulitzer Prize-winning Chode Picks! It’s been seven days since I shat out the last edition in the narcissistic writing hobby that has spanned my entire adult life, so let’s get back to it.  I just finished possibly the easiest week of school I’ve had since undergrad, so that calls for a celebratory drink, and wouldn’t you know it, but there just happens to be most of a case of Four Loko left in my kitchen.  Good God, I have no idea how I used to drink this shit four years ago. Oh that’s right, it was caffeinated back then and made me feel like a drunken superhero.  Luckily, 24-year old Chode has nearly an unlimited supply of energy in pill form at his disposal, so rigging up a couple of bottles of the good stuff really isn’t all that hard.  Huzzah!

It wasn’t the greatest week for my fantasy team, mostly because I forgot to take Ray Rice out of my lineup and subsequently my team was beaten, bitch-slapped and knocked out by nearly 60 points.  Expect team Rice Beaters to return to form by smacking around this week’s competition.  I’m counting on abusing the next sorry soul to cross my path by at least 20 points.  And yes, I’m going to keep making Ray Rice jokes for the foreseeable future.  And not because I think Ray is some kind of monster. Obviously he made a morally indefensible decision in that Atlantic City elevator and deserves a suspension, but the person who really disgusts me in this mess is Roger Goodell.  This is the man who has allowed players facing charges for sexual assault (Ben Roethlisberger), manslaughter (Donte Stallworth and Josh Brent) and straight-up murder (Ray Lewis, who by the way is getting a motherfucking statue built in his honor) to continue playing in the NFL.  But somehow Ray Rice, who has been completely honest and apologetic about his mistake (unlike Goodell) is the most reprehensible player in the league.  Bullshit.  If the NFL is going to come down on Ray Rice, it should come down on all violent crimes, not just the ones that get headlines.  Also, Penn State was released from probation this week, so that tells you a lot about where our priorities are as a society.  Something tells me that if TMZ had gotten a video of Jerry Sandusky, things might be a little different.

Whew.  Sorry, I’ll get down from the soapbox now.  At least there are no other players in major legal trouble right now…

Oh, Jesus.  You’ve got to be shitting me.  Way to go Adrian Beater-Son.  Let’s move on to the picks.  First up…

NEW YORK JETS (1-0) at GREEN BAY PACKERS (0-1)

One of these teams is winless and favored by 9 points.  The other is undefeated and a 9-point underdog.  Gotta love the first week of the season.  And honestly, I think that line is still too low.  A lot of my fellow Packer fans are worried after a poor showing last Thursday, but it’s easy for a good team to look shitty against Seattle.  Just ask Peyton Manning.  We’ll rebound, kick New York in the balls and all will be right in world again.  Also, I don’t care how much the Seahawks win by this week, I’ve already decided that we’re taking home our 5^th Lombardi Trophy this year.  Deal with it.

GREEN BAY by 14

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (0-1) at MINNESOTA VIKINGS (1-0)

LOL.  Two more teams that will be 1-1 on Sunday afternoon, especially with Adrian being sidelined with a case of ADD (Awful Dad Disorder).  Expect Darth Belichick and his minions to drop 40 on the poor Vikes.

NEW ENGLAND by 24

CHICAGO BEARS (0-1) at SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (1-0)

Either way, this game will make me happy.  I get to watch Patrick Willis and company bring the motherfuckin’ ruckus on Jay Cutler’s fat, diabetic ass, or I get to see Colin “I eat orphans and poop them out in the shape of swastikas” Kaepernick go down in the tender embrace of Jared Allen.  I’m gonna have to go to the Red Zone bar on Regent St so I can watch all 3 of these games at once.  Did you know that the Red Zone gives out free shots for every Packer touchdown? And that they have the best nacho platter in southern Wisconsin?  This paragraph was brought to you by the Red Zone Bar and Grill.

SAN FRANCISCO by 3

In other sports news around the world, Oscar Pistorius was found not guilty.  And guilty. So in his honor, I challenge you all to play the Pistorius drinking game this weekend: any time someone goes to the bathroom, you take four quick shots.

On to lesser football teams…

Wisconsin Badgers (1-1) vs BYE WEEK (0-0)

You know for a brief, insane minute there I thought we were going to fall to 0-2 against Western Illinois.  Then at halftime the dumbest group of gentlemen on campus must have realized “Oh shit, we’re a Big Ten team” and throttled the Leathernecks in the 2^nd half.  Regardless, I’m already counting this season as a disappointment, and it has nothing to do with on the field results.  You see, between the “neutral site” game against LSU and this week’s bye, we ended up with just ONE measly warm-weather home gameday this season.  For those of you unlucky enough to not have experienced one of these magical occasions, that’s like canceling Christmas.  Twice.  Damn you, Barry Alvarez. 

Also, I think it’s fair to declare the “Gordon for Heisman” campaign officially dead.  It went into a fatal arrhythmia sometime during the first half last Saturday and flatlined as MGIII finished with 38 yards on the game.  Thirty-eight fucking yards.  On 17 carries.  Are you kidding me?  Todd Gurley would have eclipsed that in the 1^st quarter.  At least Tanner McINT put up decent numbers on the two-dozen screen passes Coach Andersen called to boost his confidence.  I’d trade quarterbacks with literally any other school in the Big Ten. 

WISCONSIN by default 

WORLD CUP OF BASKETBALL FINAL:  USA  (162-8) vs SERBIA (88-44)

Yes, I actually added up Serbia’s national basketball team record.  Because I’m a giant fucking nerd, I know.  But despite the fact that Spain isn’t playing on Sunday at 2:00, you’re all still required to watch.  We’re going for 4 straight world championships here, fellas.  Don’t let the terrorists win.  U-S-A!!  U-S-A!! U-S-A!!

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA by 31

Well, time to call it a wrap on this week’s issue.  I’ll be back next weekend to give you 5-10 minutes of entertainment, depending on how slow you read.  Also, sometime this year I’m thinking about compiling a “Best of the Chode Picks” where I compile all of my favorite bits from the past 8 years for your reading pleasure.  Let me know in the comments if you’re interested.

This week’s edition is dedicated to my late uncle Bob.  I’ve been told that in heaven there is no beer, but if there is I’m confident that he’s already found it. Rest in peace, big fella.

What do the Ravens listen to in the locker room?

Beats by Ray.

Sources: Ben King (Adrian Beater-Son) and Kenne Koehler (Beats by Ray).  Five Chode Points for you both. 

Also, if you’re like me and you have a weird sense of humor, you should watch the movie below.  It’s 15 minutes long and made by 3 guys who are much more creative than I’ll ever be.

DID YOU DRINK MY GINGER ALE?!?! HANNAH?!?!

- Chode Out.

Chode Picks – Week 1

Surprise! I’m back to kick your ass with eight to sixteen editions of man’s greatest accomplishment, the Chode Picks.  I just put the finishing touches on a brilliant fantasy football draft, with Jimmy Graham and Ray “Iron Fist” Rice ready to carry me to another title. But let’s be honest: none of you give a shit about my fantasy football team.  Let me fill you in on all of the sports-related happenings since the last time we met.  Fair warning, this edition is going to have a slightly different tone than my usual confident, triumphant prose, mostly because my favorite teams have been getting shit on for the past two months. So if you’ve been reading the Chode Picks for years, waiting for me to get my comeuppance, this one’s for you.  Enjoy it, Minnesota/Chicago fans. Let’s break it down by team.

GREEN BAY PACKERS (0-1)

It’s currently Friday afternoon in Madison, Wisconsin, center of the known universe, and I’ve got that strange variety of hangover that makes your entire body hurt except your head. It’s hard to tell if the pain is beer-induced from last night’s bender or merely the aftereffects of a season-opening ass kicking at the hands of Russell Wilson and his merry band of dickheads.  It pains me to admit this, but the Seahawks are clearly a better team than the Green Bay Packers right now.  And you know what? After 40 odd years of being terrible and losing the Supersonics to Oklahoma City, those fans probably deserve it. Congratulations on your world championship banner, Seattle. Just remember that the only reason we don’t hang them in Lambeau is because THERE’S NOT ENOUGH SPACE IN THE MOTHERFUCKING STADIUM TO FIT THEM ALL!!
Even though I despise the Seahawks for what they’ve done to my beloved Pack over the past few seasons, I have to admit if they were in the AFC I’d probably root for them, and I’d trade rosters in a heartbeat if you gave me the chance. Unless you’re a Michigan State grad, I don’t see how anyone can honestly say they dislike Russell Wilson, and even Richard Sherman has grown on me. Over the years I’ve developed an appreciation for athletes who are talented enough to play at the highest level while still maintaining a good amount of intelligence. Other than Marshawn Lynch, the previous sentence describes pretty much Seattle’s entire roster. This, of course, makes them the polar opposite of the next football team we need to cover…

WISCONSIN BADGERS (0-1)

Stupid, stupid, stupid. That’s the reason we’re 0-1 instead of 1-0 right now. Not because we’re less talented than LSU (although that’s also true). Over the past 20 years, Wisconsin football teams have compensated for a lack of talent by being smarter and more disciplined than their opponents, and the result has been consistent success with the occasional Big Ten title thrown in for good measure. This team seems ready to buck the trend by combining a modest amount of talent with the mental capacity of a sixth grader. Sadly, there’s one person to blame, and we can’t fire him.  No, not Tanner McEvoy (I’ll get to him in a second). Bret Bielema.  These are his recruits, and it shows in the worst possible way.  Unfortunately, the one guy with a decent head on his shoulders, Joel Stave, is sidelined indefinitely with a mysterious injury.  So we’re stuck with McEasilyintercepted (I’ll come up with a better name eventually) alternating between overthrowing receivers by 20 yards and chucking the ball into the turf on 3^rd and 10.  I came into this season with very low expectations for McErrantpass and he has failed to meet them.  I don’t want to succumb to hyperbole here, but we would have beaten LSU with Allan Evridge under center.  No, I don’t care how big and fast he is, because I’m fairly certain there are at least two people reading this blog that have a better passing arm.  Move him back to safety and burn the redshirt on D.J. Gillins. Not that it matters for the next three games, because the rest of our nonconference schedule is softer than Michael Sam’s penis at the Playboy mansion.  Here’s hoping we can drop 60 on Western Illinois tomorrow to make me feel better.

Poop break.  Back in 10-15 minutes.

MIAMI HEAT (0-0)

Let’s hear it.  I know you’ve been waiting for years.  Deep down, we all knew LeBron was eventually going back to Cleveland, and I must say I’m quite disappointed in all of you for not making more of an attempt to rub it in.  After four years of me being a cocky asshole about my team, I deserve it.  That being said, I was moderately offended by the number of people who assumed I was going to drop my team and root for the Cavs.  You must think I’m some kind of amoral monster.  And while I’m certainly going to enjoy watching LeBron kick the Bulls out of the playoffs next spring yet again, I’ll enjoy it even more when Bosh, Wade, Luol Deng and company beat Cleveland in seven games, go back to the Finals for the 5^th season in a row and LOSE TO THE DAMNED SPURS IN FIVE GAMES!  You heard it here first.  Bosh for MVP.

USA BASKETBALL (159-8)

Most of you were probably unaware that the World Cup of Basketball is going on in Spain right now.  It’s a lot like the World Cup of soccer, except we’re Germany, Brazil, Argentina and the Netherlands all rolled into one.  The knockout round starts tomorrow with USA squaring off against Mexico, and you’ll be shocked to hear that we finished pool play undefeated rolling out our B-team of Anthony Davis, Kyrie Irving, Steph Curry, James Harden and Kenneth Faried.  The only reason I mention this is because a final matchup with Spain (Pau and Marc Gasol, Serge Ibaka, Ricky Rubio and Juan Carlos Navarro) is looming next Sunday at 2:00 PM. If you don’t watch, you’re a shitty patriot and that’s all there is to it.

MILWAUKEE BREWERS (73-67)

Current losing streak: nine games and counting.  Assuming we find a way to sneak into the playoffs, I can pretty much guarantee we’re getting our asses handed to us by the Cardinals.  I’ve seen this movie before.  At least we’re not the Cubs.

This week’s edition of the Chode Picks is brought to you by one of my all-time favorite sponsors, Four Loko.  I picked up a case of the new formula for the dirt-cheap price of $9.99 last week, and somehow I’m still disappointed.  Drinking decaffeinated Loko is like watching Michael Jordan play for the Wizards; I know how much better it used to be.

Before we wrap it up this week, I want to touch on a more serious note.  As some of you know, I recently finished my surgery rotation in med school. In between feeling miserable, hungry and sleep-deprived for 8 weeks, I got to do some pretty cool shit. But the most awesome thing I got to be a part of wasn’t cutting open a dude’s skull or helping amputate a leg (although those both kicked ass).  It was talking to a 52-year old man in perfect health who decided to donate his kidney anonymously to a stranger because “someone needs it more than me”.  That man is a hero in a way that none of the men we cheer for on Saturday or Sunday ever could be. So I want to ask you all a favor. Go to donorregistry.wisconsin.gov and sign up to be an organ donor. The orange dot on your driver’s license actually isn’t legally binding.  I know it’s not the most pleasant thing to think about, but I’d like to think that if I kick the bucket sooner than expected, someone else can keep living with my lungs, heart and kidneys (Probably not my liver though. Sorry).

Also, you should probably watch this video.  You’ll enjoy it.

GO!

PACK!

GO!

- Chode Out.