Chode Picks - Week 4

Hello again friends, and welcome to week 4 of the Chode Picks, brought to you by Pabst Blue Ribbon, a true American beer. I owe a special thank you to the good people of Pabst, since their product has helped to partially erase what was a miserable week of football. Yes, I’m talking about the Packers-Bears atrocity from Monday night. More on that later. Chode’s All-Stars also dropped to 1-2 last week. The lone bright spot from the week was Wisconsin’s 70-3 victory over powerhouse Austin Peay. (pronounced: Austin Pee) The Badgers scored touchdowns on their first 9 possesions of the game, and Brad Nortman, Wisconsin’s punter, didn’t enter the game until midway through the 4th quarter. For some reason, however, the voters in the polls voted Alabama, who barely got past a weak Arkansas team, ahead of Wisconsin. Bullshit. The Badgers are unstoppable this year, and are poised to appear in the national championship game for the first time since 1963. Expect more 50+ point blowouts in the Big Ten season.

Before I get to the picks, I want to bring your attention to a truly incredible football player: JaMarcus Russell. As you may remember, Russell was the #1 overall pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, selected by the Oakland Raiders. Russell was projected to be the quarterback to lead Oakland out of football obscurity and back into the national spotlight, and to his credit, JaMarcus broke his fair share of records during his tenure with the Raiders. Here are some of Russell’s notable NFL accomplishments:

- Russell was awarded the highest rookie contract in NFL history, with $31.5 million guaranteed.
- Russell was cut from his team faster than any #1 pick in NFL history
- Russell broke an unofficial QB record by reporting to training camp at 303 lbs in 2010.

Early in training camp this season, the Raiders realized that they had no choice but to release Russell, after noticing that his offensive linemen no longer formed a pocket around him so much as they fell into orbit around him. After his release, Russell was arrested for possession of codeine and promethazine, the two active ingredients in prescription cough syrup (more commonly known as “Purple Drank”). I would like to take this occasion to label JaMarcus Russell as the biggest bust in NFL history, surpassing Tony Mandarich, Joey Harrington and Ryan Leaf. In honor of JaMarcus’s historic feat, I drank two bottles of cough syrup and chased them with a six pack of Red Bull before I started writing. I see three keyboards in front of me, it’s getting increasingly harder to spell words correctly, and the squiggly red lines are mocking me. Also, I can control time. Not only does Red Bull give you wings, it also gives you superhuman powers.

Chode’s All Stars (1-2) vs Gotta get up to get down (1-2)

Vick for MVP anyone? Since being unleashed (no pun intended) on the league in week 2, Vick has led the Eagles to two straight victories, and has compiled the second best passer rating in the league, only behind Peyton Manning. He seems to have all of his pre-prison speed back, and he’s been more accurate than ever since taking the starting job in Philadelphia. Personally, I couldn’t be happier for the guy. I think that his prison term was the best thing that could have happened to him as a person. The sincerity of his apologies and the brilliance of his play have put him back into the spotlight, this time in a good way. It’s a great redemption story, and if Vick ever leads the Eagles to a championship, you can bet some Hollywood agency will make a kick-ass movie about his life. America loves a winner. Despite Vick’s heroics, however, Chode’s All Stars have lost two games in a row. Unacceptable. Other than Vick and Chris Johnson, my players have been shitting all over my season. Luckily, I made some roster changes this week and we’re turning it around, starting now. Chode’s All Stars will not lose a game from this point on, damn it.

Chode’s All Stars by 7

The Fightin’ Aromashodus (2-1) vs Team Beaupre (3-0)

I couldn’t be more disappointed in you, Mike. You beat me in week 2, the Bears beat the Packers on Monday Night Football, and you’re the only undefeated team left in the league. After all that, you couldn’t muster up the balls to send a single gloating text? Not one taunt or insult? NOTHING?? Come on, man. I expect more. I write 5,000 words for you every week, and I at least expect you to rub it in my face when you own me. On a related note, that Packer game was complete bullshit. If you’re a Bears fan, you left that game feeling like you just robbed a children’s hospital. Chicago didn’t win that game, Green Bay gave it away. And Jay Cutler still sucks. He did everything in his power to lose that game. Cutler threw interceptions galore, only to have each one negated by a Packer penalty. Congratulations, Jay. By the way, Aaron Rodgers was the only Packer that looked good in that game. I really hope they learn from the loss. Luckily, we get Detroit this week. Damn it, Mike is going to win again.

Team Beaupre by 16

Its on like Ndamukong (1-2) vs ThongPong4LIFE (0-3)

Congratulations, Will. You’re 11 games away from a perfect 0-14 record. And you’re starting Brett Favre, who not only sucks, but has a bye this week. Brilliant. If he’s not playing, he can’t score negative points. Actually, both of these teams suck something awful. But Ndamukong sucks less.

It’s on like Ndamukong by 0.00003

Brett Favre (2-1) vs Flaming Gingers (1-2)

The fact that a team named Brett Favre has a better record than me is infuriating. Fuck this league. Also, if you haven’t heard, Donovan McNabb and the Redskins are playing the Eagles in Philadelphia this week. Wait a minute. There’s an intriguing story here……… wait for it………… Ah, shit. I forgot what it was. Wait a minute! Donovan McNabb played for Syracuse in college! Syracuse played against Pittsburgh! Pittsburgh is in Pennsylvania and SO IS PHILADELPHIA!!!

Flaming Gingers by 9

Mountain Dudes (2-1) vs Abu Garcia (1-2)

Once again, fuck you Nate. You will not beat me again. However, you will beat Jared this week, because he is discovering that having a roster full of running backs means you’re screwed when your quarterbacks, receivers and tight ends have bye weeks. Amazingly, Jared is still projected to win this week. That’s how shitty your team is, Nate. Sorry for all the negativity, but seriously, suck it.

Abu Garcia by 23

Well, that’s all for the picks this week. Before I let you go, I have a few final thoughts to share with you. And you’re going to read them, because I’m awesome.

Get Him to the Greek is hilarious. Watch it.

Nobody cares about the Ryder Cup (or golf in general).

President Obama came to the UW campus on Tuesday. Rather than detailing his plan to fix the economy or encouraging students to work hard in school, Obama chose to use his speech to campaign for Tom Barrett and Russ Feingold. Fantastic. Thank you, but I don’t need the President to tell me who to vote for. I can think for myself. During his campaign, Obama promised change, but his term as President has been nothing but politics as usual. It also infuriates me that he repeatedly hurled insults at the Republican Party in the shadow of Abe Lincoln’s statue on Bascom Hill. ABE FUCKING LINCOLN!! THE GREATEST PRESIDENT/AMERICAN OF ALL TIME! Please, readers. If you enjoy the Chode Picks, vote for Scott Walker, Ron Johnson, and whoever runs against Obama in 2012. For America.

- Chode Out.

Chode Picks - Week 3

Football is a game of patience and perseverance. It’s a game that rarely hands out quick rewards, and punishes those who take shortcuts. Players and teams often have to wait years for their chance to break onto the national scene. To be truly successful in the sport, a player must maintain a vision of the long-term goal they hope to achieve. And at last, when he finally reaches his goal, his hour in the spotlight is made all that much sweeter by the knowledge of the work that it took to get there. These are lessons that Ohio’s Brandon Hanning know all too well. When Hanning enrolled at Ohio University in the fall of 2009, he did so with a single goal in mind. He endured the countless hours of physical and mental training required to gain a starting position on the squad, and finally, when opportunity came knocking on Mr. Hanning’s door, he drop-kicked, tackled, and punched opportunity in its oversized head. Over and over. In front of 105,075 screaming fans in the Horseshoe. 
Last Saturday, in a display of amazing testicular fortitude, the 19-year old Ohio Bobcat mascot ambushed Ohio State’s Brutus the Buckeye as Brutus and the OSU players came running out onto the field in Columbus. Initially, Brutus appeared stunned after being knocked to the ground by Rufus the Bobcat’s initial attack. Brutus soon recovered however, and sprinted away to the end zone like a coward.
Hanning wasn’t finished, however. Not even close. The Bobcat chased the Ohio State mascot into his own endzone and leaped onto Brutus’ back, WWE-style. He rode the Buckeye to the ground and proceeded to punch Brutus in his stupid face until being dragged away by security.
Hanning then had sex with every female in the stadium.
For this display of awesomeness, the Chode would like to offer his highest congratulations to Brandon Hanning, the early favorite for the Chode Picks Man of the Year award. Live long and prosper.

In other football news, ESPN’s daily show SportsNation came to the UW campus on Monday. The show’s host, Colin Cowherd, regularly interacts with his audience during the show, and he was treated to a large contingent of Wisconsin students to film the live 1-hour show with. During commercial breaks, Cowherd took questions from the students, and it is my pleasure to tell you that SportsNation’s leading analyst, when asked, picked the Packers to face the Steelers in the Super Bowl this year. However, it is my extreme displeasure to tell you that Cowherd denied my request for a friendly, sports analyst duel to the death. When I attempted to engage him in an on-stage duel anyways, I was quickly brutalized by security and threatened with words like “assault”, “under arrest” and “jail time”. As you can see, Colin is a bitch. I’m not finished with you, Coward. We shall meet again.

Also, the Packers beat the hell out of the Buffalo Bills last week, and the Wisconsin Badgers squeezed out a one-point victory over Arizona State. Hooray. The Chode would like to apologize for his erroneous statement last week, when I indicated that the Badgers were playing Austin Peay (pronounced: Austin Pee). We play Austin Peay this Saturday.

Time for the Picks:

Its on like Ndamukong (1-1) vs Brett Favre (1-1)

Take a guess who leads the NFL in fantasy points right now. Did you guess Jahvid Best? Me neither. It appears I may have been too quick to label Jahvid as a bust before the season began, although I still have faith that the Lions will find some way to wreck him. Anyways, he scored 41 points on Eric’s bench last week. Forty-one points. That’s almost as much as Ndamukong’s entire starting lineup scored in their week 2 loss. Probably just a fluke though, I would keep him on the bench again this week. In fact, I would probably trade him while his value is high, say for Robert Meachem or Jonathan Stewart. Or both, even. Anyways, Ndamukong is projected to win by 28 points, so I really can’t argue with that.

Its on like Ndamukong by 28

Team Beaupre (2-0) vs Abu Garcia (1-1)

Congratulations to Team Beaupre on being the last undefeated team standing. Damn, that was quick. Enjoy it while you can Mike, because you’re soon going to be on the wrong end of a Packers-Bears ass-whooping in Soldier Field on Monday night. Fun fact: Chicago has not defeated a team that has won a game yet. Aaron Rodgers and Clay Matthews could probably take down the Bears by themselves. Also, don’t expect Jay Cutler to keep playing this well. Sooner or later his jersey-color blindness will get the best of him. On a side note, a game to watch this week will be Dallas at Houston. The thought of Jerry Jones’s team getting knocked down to 0-3 against the “other” team in Texas makes me chuckle.

Team Beaupre by 11

The Fightin’ Aromashodus (1-1) vs Flaming Gingers (1-1)

Sooner or later I’m going to remember how to spell Aromashodu without looking twice. Also, sooner or later people are going to realize that Michael Crabtree is overrated. Putting up big numbers in a pass-only offense at Texas Tech does not make you a good pro. On the other hand, Alex Smith is his quarterback. Remember when he went #1 overall in the 2005 draft, and Aaron Rodgers went #24? Ha, yeah me too. Good call, 49ers. I like The Fightin’ Aromashodus (got it!) in this matchup because Jennings and Finley are due for a couple of scores in Chicago.

The Fightin’ Aromashodus by 88

Gotta get up to get down (1-1) vs ThongPong4LIFE (0-2)

Aaron Rodgers vs The Traitor, hmm……… Who am I picking this week? First, I want to congratulate Will on being the only member of the league who has yet to win a game. Keep your eyes on the prize buddy, 0-14 is in reach! Also, I need to take some time here to dissect Benedict Brett’s performance against the Dolphins last week. The “Gunslinger” threw three interceptions and fumbled once in the end zone, resulting in a Miami touchdown. Judas Favre compiled a passer rating of 44.3. If a quarterback drops back and fires every pass straight into the ground, he gets a 39.6 rating. The best part is, Minnesota’s defense held the Dolphins to just seven points, and the Vikings still lost. If any other quarterback in the league had been playing for Minnesota, they would have been victorious. Remember, the Chode predicted at the start of the season that the Vikings would implode and miss the playoffs. I had no idea it would happen this early.

Gotta get up to get down by 2,145

Chode’s All Stars (1-1) vs Mountain Dudes (1-1)

Fuck you, Nate.

Chode’s All Stars by 2.998x10^8

A few more thoughts before I call it a wrap for week 3:

Michigan quarterback Denard Robinson is considered an early Heisman favorite, having scored victories over Conneticut, Notre Dame, and D1-AA powerhouse Massachusetts. Last season at this time, Michigan quarterback Tate Forcier was an early favorite to win the Heisman as well. As you may recall, he did not win the Heisman.

President Obama is visiting UW-Madison next Tuesday, for no particular reason. Personally, I think Obama is coming to the most liberal city in the Midwest because he needs to be reassured that there are people out there who still think he’s doing a good job. Don’t count me among them. When he was elected in 2008, I wrote in this very column that “Obama will make a fine president”. I deeply regret the error. Obama has fallen victim to the same trap as countless other politicians before him: he promised much more than he could deliver. If the Republicans can field a respectable candidate in 2012, I expect Obama’s presidency to come to an abrupt end.

The Bears still suck.

-Chode Out.

Chode Picks - Week 2

And we’re back, with the 2nd edition in the historic 5th season of Chode Picks. You read that right. I’ve been writing this shit for almost half a decade now. Holy balls I’m getting old. And I’ve only retired once in that span. Looks like I’ve got some work to do. 

Last week was a fantastic one for many reasons. First and foremost, the Vikings lost, which is enough to put a smile on my face. Also, the Packers survived the Michael Vick experience to start the season 1-0. Aaron Rodgers looked strangely human, but he always plays better as the season goes on. His massive testicles were probably weighing him down as well.

Another reason why this week was great: I got my MCAT scores back. I scored a 39. The average score for medical students at UW-Madison is 31.5. The average at Harvard is 35. Chode University owns Harvard University. Ironically, I scored below average on the writing portion.

Last but not least, this week was awesome because Team USA took home the gold medal at the World Basketball Championships, defeating Turkey on their home court in the championship game. Keep in mind this team had only one NBA All-Star on the roster, Kevin Durant. Apparently LeBron, Kobe, Wade, Dwight Howard, Amar’e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony all had better things to do than represent their country. At the start of the tournament, most American sportswriters were picking Spain to take home the gold. What nobody saw coming though, was the excellent team play that the US displayed throughout the tournament. Unlike previous USA Basketball squads, this group seemed to understand that they needed to make extra passes on offense and play team defense in order to win. And win they did. The red, white and blue went 9-0 in the tournament, with their only close game coming in preliminary play, a 2-point victory over Brazil. 

“But Chode”, you ask, “Why are you writing about basketball in a football column?” I’m telling you this because nobody in the US gives a damn about the World Championships, and that needs to change. I can’t tell you how many times people would walk by me during a game and ask “Why are you watching basketball in the summer?”, to which I would reply “Because I love my country, asshole!” Shame on you for not caring, America. Also, Kevin Durant is going to win the NBA MVP Award this year. Write it down.

One more basketball-related item (last one, I swear). You may have heard that a certain kid from Akron, Ohio signed with the Miami Heat this summer. For the record, I would like to make it clear that I’ve been a Heat fan since 2003. I don’t care if you believe me or not. As happy as I was to see LeBron team up with Bosh and Wade, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the city of Cleveland as Lebron’s “Decision” turned into “LeMassacre”. Not since Hiroshima has a city been so completely devastated by the actions of one man. God must hate Cleveland. On the flip side, I can’t wait to watch Miami destroy the rest of the league for the next three years. I’ve had enough of listening to old sports analysts talk about how LeBron’s choice reflects the attitude of the “selfish, younger generation”. To hell with them. What was their generation doing in their early 20s? Oh that’s right: smoking pot, wearing tye-dye shirts and spitting on Vietnam veterans. Up yours, baby boomers. I hope the Heat win 10 championships. Also, if you have time, look up “Dan LeBatard Rejoices Over The Three Kings” on YouTube. Good stuff.

Okay, time to get back to football. Here are the picks:

Chode’s All Stars (1-0) vs Team Beaupre (1-0)

Yes, I know. Ryan Grant is out for the season. Adding insult to injury, none of you guys were dumb enough to bite on my trade offers for him. Congratulations. Luckily, I had the foresight to draft a fantastic backup, Jon “The Daily Show” Stewart. (On a side note, Stephen Colbert is much, much more entertaining) As for Team Beaupre, you’re playing me this week, so naturally, you’re losing. Team Beaupre is starting both Matt Forte against Dallas, and Dallas’ defense against Matt Forte. A bit of a lose-lose situation there, Mike.

Chode’s All Stars by 700

Gotta get up to get down (0-1) vs Its on like Ndamukong (1-0)

Last week I predicted that Javhid Best’s career would be a huge, embarrassing failure. On Sunday, he scored twice, as if to say “Fuck you Chode, looks like your career as a writer is a huge, embarrassing failure”. Well played, Jahvid. I hope you suffer a high ankle sprain. Unfortunately for Best and the Lions, it looks like Matt Stafford is going to be out for a while with a shoulder injury. Detroit’s new starter is Shaun Hill, who would have had a game-winning TD pass last week, if only Calvin Johnson could hang on to the football. I’ll wait for Eric to stop scowling. Ok, we’re good. What happened last week was the type of call that only occurs when you play for the Detroit Lions. However, the Bears players still have to live with the fact that they should have lost to Detroit. I predict that Chad Ochocinco will drop a game winning pass for Its on like Ndamukong this week.

Gotta get up to get down by 5

The Fightin’ Aromashodus (1-0) vs Brett Favre (0-1)

I’d like to take a moment to point out that Manning Bowl II takes place this week. The Colts won the first meeting in 2006, and despite the fact that the Giants looked better in Week 1, I’m picking Indy to beat New York again. It’s the older brother factor. No matter how good Eli becomes in the NFL, he’ll always have memories of Peyton giving him wedgies and sticking his head in the toilet as a kid. Also, I’m pretty sure the Colts haven’t lost two games in a row in the past 3 seasons (not counting games at the end of the year when they keep starters out). It’s hard to pick the Figthin’ Aromashodus when Dave isn’t starting a defense, but Jason leaves me no choice since he refuses to change his team name. Dick.

The Fightin’ Aromashodus by 3.141

Mountain Dudes (0-1) vs ThongPong4LIFE (0-1)

HA! I finally pick you to win, Nate and you LOSE. Reverse psychology. Suck it. Also, I can’t help but notice that Kyle Orton is your starting QB. How do you feel about that? I have 3 QBs on my roster better than him. And I’m pretty sure I could find somebody on waivers to make it 4. As for Will, I’m not optimistic, considering he’s starting the Packers’ defense against the high-octane Buffalo offense, led by Trent Edwards. Tough pick, but the world didn’t end last time I picked Nate, so might as well try it again.

Mountain Dudes by 18

Abu Garcia (1-0) vs Flaming Gingers (0-1)

Raise your hand if you feel like an idiot for not drafting Arian Foster. Don’t feel bad, I have no idea where this guy came from either. On a related note, calling Abu Garcia’s RB position a logjam doesn’t do it justice. No, Abu Garcia has a full-blown RB clusterfuck. Foster, Brandon Jackson, Ryan Matthews, Knowshon Moreno, Darren McFadden and Tim Hightower. You realize that there are other positions on offense, right Jared? Eventually Tono Romo will have a bye week. I think it’s hilarious that you might lose to a team named Flaming Gingers this week, so that’s my pick. Go Gingers!

Flaming Gingers by 21

A few more interesting tidbits:
- The Houston Texans defeated the Indianapolis Colts 34-24 last week, and the universe did not consume itself.
- The Wisconsin Badgers play Austin Peay (pronounced: Austin Pee) at home this week. Should be a good game.
- It’s Chode Thursday.

-Chode Out.

Chode Picks - Week 1

Chode Picks - Week 1

It was not an easy decision. For months I wondered if I had one more season in me. I knew I still had the desire to write, but I wasn’t sure if my aging fingers could take the pounding that 17 more weeks had to offer. At the end of the day though, it wasn’t the money, the glory, the desire, or even the bangin’ hot broads that being the writer of the Chode Picks brings.

It’s about revenge. It’s about knowing that my career cannot be complete until I outlast that purple bastard. You know who. The Evil One has returned and I can’t let the sun go down on the Chode Picks until I see him throw his last pick-six.

With that, I am officially announcing my un-retirement as an amateur sportswriter. I promise to go the distance, all the way to the Sorry For Partying Championship Game, even if Chode’s All Stars get knocked out along the way (don’t bet on it). I promise to put my blood, sweat, tears and other bodily fluids into this column, both literally and figuratively. I promise serious football analysis, mixed with a healthy dose of immature humor and a few alcohol-inspired rants. I hope I can count on you to see it through with me. Thanks in advance.

Before I get to the Week 1 picks, there are some offseason issues that need to be addressed. 

This year, we may witness the greatest football season in the history of the state of Wisconsin. It is a well-known fact that Green Bay currently has the best football team on the planet, led by Aaron Rodgers, the man who is on pace to become the greatest quarterback in NFL history. I honestly don’t know why Mike McCarthy thought it was necessary to sign a punter this season. Or a kicker. Rodgers is Dan Marino with larger testicles. And a beard. Correction: Aaron Rodgers is a cross between Dan Marino and Jesus. The 1972 Dolphins are trembling in their South Florida retirement homes.

In addition to the forthcoming Super Bowl victory, we may also be lucky enough to see the University of Wisconsin play in their first BCS bowl game since 2000. The Badgers are currently flying under the radar at #11, but expect them to jump into the national title hunt after they defeat Ohio State and Iowa. You heard it here first.

Speaking of college football, I hope most of you were able to enjoy the Boise State – Virginia Tech game on Monday night. The #3 Broncos kept their national title hopes alive with a 3-point victory over the #10 Hokies. In fact, Tech is the only ranked opponent on Boise State’s schedule all year. Expect Boise to roll through their conference schedule and into the national championship game for the fist time. Kellen Moore’s strong performance, combined with Mark Ingram’s injury, instantly made Moore the Heisman front-runner after just one week. If Moore matches his production from last season, the Idaho media machine should be more than enough to propel him to the Heisman.

Now that we’re all caught up, time for the first set of 2010 Chode Picks. Try to contain your excitement.

Its on like Ndamukong vs Mountain Dudes

I’m gonna be honest with you. Ndamukong Suh scares the hell out of me. The thought of that giant bastard coming after Aaron Rodgers gives me nightmares. Luckily, nobody else on the Lion’s defensive line warrants mentioning, so Green Bay’s pass protection should be able to handle him. As far as this matchup goes, I like the Mountain Dudes. The Steelers – Falcons game should be a ground war, which means that Turner and Mendenhall will rack up big points for Nate. Also, Jahvid Best sucks. His best game in college came against the Minnesota Gophers. Then he got hurt and sat out for the rest of the year. Really not all that impressive.

Mountain Dudes by 5

Brett Favre vs Abu Garcia

How dare you Jason. Please explain to me what motivated you to name your team after the Traitor. I will not pick you to win a game until you change it. As for Favre himself, I’m looking forward to a watching a repeat of the ass-kicking that the Saints put on him last January. I honestly don’t think that Benedict Brett has the balls to make it through another 16-game season, and I cant wait to watch the trainers haul his sorry ass off the field on a stretcher.

Abu Garcia by 4

Team Beaupre vs Flaming Gingers

Flaming Gingers. I love it. I can always count on Dan for a great fantasy team name. Team Beaupre, not so much. Team Beaupre is about as exciting as watching the Bears offense go three and out, which usually doesn’t happen, because Cutler likes throwing to the guys in opposite-colored jerseys. Yeah, there’s no way Chicago will ever regret giving up two first-round picks for him.

Gingers by 27

Gotta get up to get down vs The Fightin’ Aromashodus
Awesome QB matchup. Rodgers vs Manning. I think this is the year that Rodgers passes up Manning and Brees as the best quarterback in the NFL, and it starts this week. Also, I’m surprised Kenne isn’t starting Dez Bryant. According to every ESPN analyst, Bryant is going to be a cross between Jerry Rice and Mickael Irvin. I’m not buying it. I think Bryant and Jahvid Best are the two most overrated rookies in the league. I’ll eat my words when either one of them makes a Pro Bowl.

Gotta get up to get down by 12

Chode’s All Stars vs ThongPong4LIFE

This is the year. I’m telling you, pencil in Chode’s All Stars for the Sorry for Partying 2010 Championship Game. This team is LOADED. It’s really a beautiful sight. I just hope that the rest of the league can take some time to appreciate the masterpiece that I have crafted with this team. If you can’t tell, I’m not picking ThongPong this week. It doesn’t help that he left two receiver slots empty either.

Chode’s All Stars by 900

A few final predictions before we start the season. Feel free to throw these back in my face if I they end up being completely wrong.
- The Dallas Cowboys will lose their first playoff game.
- The Baltimore Ravens will also lose their first playoff game.
- The San Francisco 49ers will make the playoffs.(that’s not a typo)
- The Minnesota Vikings will miss the playoffs.
- The Green Bay Packers will play the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLV.


- Chode out.