Chode Picks - Week 12

Happy Thanksgiving league, and welcome the week 12 of the Chode Picks. This week’s edition is brought to you by MillerCoors. As the Christmas shopping season begins and we’re assaulted with advertisements from jewelry companies every Sunday, I can’t help thinking that far more kisses will begin with Miller Lite than with Kay diamonds this holiday season. I wish a liquor company would pick that up and run with it. Example: This holiday season, skip the diamonds and buy her shots of Hornitos Tequila. Hornitos: Purer than your intentions. 

Speaking of awesome slogans, I’ve got one for the Green and Gold this season. The 2010 Green Bay Packers: We’ll make you fire your head coach. Watch out, Mike Smith. The firing of Brad Childress was the only unfortunate side effect of the Pack’s 31-3 curb stomping of Minnesota last week. On the other hand, now that the Viking’s playoff chances are officially dead, I’m rooting for them to win enough games to play themselves out of the Andrew Luck sweepstakes in June (I know they’re not mathematically out yet, but no team in the history of the NFL has ever come back from 3-7).
After the game, Judas Favre insinuated that he might not finish the season as Minnesota’s quarterback. You might think that this would make me happy. You’re wrong. The thought of Favre quitting on his team midseason absolutely infuriates me. Favre has been called a lot of things in his career, but the most frequent label put on him (besides gunslinger) is “competitor”. Ask yourself this: would a true competitor retire midseason and leave behind his teammates, the same guys who traveled down to Mississippi to drag his old ass to training camp? No. A real competitor would suck it up and finish the season, as bad as it may get. Even if he gets benched, Favre needs to finish what he started. Otherwise, he’ll be tagged with the most humiliating label in sports: quitter.

On the other side, the Packers have been playing as good or better than anyone in the NFL since starting 3-3. Despite all of the injuries that Green Bay has sustained, the team is playing with toughness and attitude. Ryan Pickett’s quote after the Minnesota game sums it up well: “We wanted to beat them while they were down”.
I may be a bit premature here, but I see a lot of parallels between this team and the 1996 Packers. Both started the season with great expectations, started the season well, suffered some key injuries, stumbled and dropped a few games, then regrouped to make a playoff run. Wait a minute.
(knocking on wood)
Anyways, this week’s game against first-place Atlanta should tell us just how good the Packers are, and could go a long way towards determining home-field advantage in the playoffs.

A few more random thoughts before I get to the picks this week:
- All I want for Christmas is Pat Riley coaching the Heat again.
- The Wisconsin football team might average more points per game than the Wisconsin basketball team this season.
- Jared Abbrederis is the next Luke Swan.
- I’m probably going to Pasadena for the Rose Bowl. Be jealous.
- When the world slips you a Jeffery, stroke the furry walls.

Chode’s All Stars (5-6) vs Mountain Dudes (6-5)

One win away from .500 and first place in Division 1. I’m unstoppable. Woo. Also, I’m projected to score 142 points. One-hundred and forty two. Most of you can’t even count that high. Nate, you’ve got no chance. NO CHANCE.

Chode’s All Stars by 142

Gotta get up to get down (4-7) vs Will’s Rejects (1-10)

Can Kenne bring him 5-game losing streak to a halt against Will’s cast of has-beens and benchwarmers? Probably. On a side note, the Tennessee Titans are 0-3 since signing Randy Moss. Coincidence? No. Moss is a cancer, and he’ll never win a Super Bowl. The Patriots were able to reign him in for a couple of seasons, but make no mistake, this will end badly for the Titans. Ted Thompson knew what he was doing when he passed on trading for Moss a few years ago. Fans love to hate on Thompson, because he doesn’t make flashy moves, he’s boring in interviews, and he’s ugly as hell, but the man has built a championship contender, and the Packers are going to be good for a long time. In Thompson we trust.

Gotta get up to get down by 23

McClusterFuck (7-4) vs Team Beaupre (9-2)

Down goes Team Beaupre! My condolences on losing twice in one season, Mike. Hope you’re doing okay. In typical Team Beaupre fashion though, he’s taken a 46-point lead after Thursday’s games. The loss seems to have only served as further motivation for the recently dethroned Beaupres. Watch out, league. Also, Mike Vick is going to murder the Bears this week. Luck can only carry a team for so long.

Team Beaupre by 11

Its on like Ndamukong (5-6) vs Suck my PeterSon (9-2)

A quote from the midseason champion, Jared Sawle: “Mike Beaupre just tooty fruity, and I whipped his booty”. Well said. It will make more sense after you watch the link of the week (1:08 mark). Sadly, I think Suck my PeterSon’s reign at the top is going to be very short-lived. Its on like Ndamukong is kicking ass right now.
Speaking of Ndamukong, the Detroit Lions currently have the longest streak of road losses in NFL history, with 26. The Lions will go for loss number 27 in a few weeks at Tampa Bay. The previous record for road futility was held by, you guessed it, the Detroit Lions, with 24 consecutive road losses. I honestly don’t think they could win at Oregon. Or Camp Randall, for that matter. Detroit is a combined 4-38 since 2008. Read that again. Four wins in 42 games. Fantastic.

Its on like Ndamukong by 26

Brett Favre (4-7) vs Brett Favre is a Douchebag (5-6)

I have not picked Jason to win yet this year. I am not going to pick Jason to win this year. I AM NOT PICKING JASON TO WIN A GAME THIS YEAR!

Brett Favre is a Douchebag by 4

Breaking news on ESPN.com: Carmelo Anthony has been traded to the Miami Heat.

Don’t forget to tune in and watch the Wisconsin Badgers win their first Big Ten Championship since 2000 this week against Northwestern. The Wildcats have given us some trouble in recent years, but there’s no way in hell the Badgers are going to let them rob us of a trip to the Rose Bowl. John Clay/James White/Montee Ball will be far too much for Northwestern to handle this week.

Made you look, didn’t I? (Carmelo)

-Chode Out.

Chode Picks - Week 11

And we’re back, with week 11 of the Chode Picks, brought to you by Four Loko, 24 ounces of blackout in a can. If you haven’t heard yet, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) decided this week to ban alcoholic energy drinks such as Sparks and Four Loko, which is twelve percent alcohol by volume and packs the same punch as five twelve-ounce cans of beer. The FDA’s reason for banning the product was that the caffeine in the beverage “masks the effect of the alcohol, so people don’t realize how drunk they actually are”. Right. Ever drink a Red Bull and vodka? Same shit, different labels. We live in a country where medical marijuana, salvia divinorum and nitrous oxide are completely legal, yet the FDA doesn’t trust us to mix alcohol and caffeine in the same can. Bullshit. The can is clearly printed with “12.0% ALC/VOL”. You can’t legislate against stupidity. Since the FDA made their announcement, every liquor store in Madison has been assaulted with a mad rush of students attempting to get their share of Four Loko before the supply runs out. To simultaneously commemorate the occasion and to mourn our losses, my roommate and I went to Regent Liquor and bought $54 worth of Four Loko. Each. (Yes, I know. I’m an alcoholic. I’ll stop in a year and a half. I promise.) Four those of you that haven’t tried it yet, Four Loko is both terrible and awesome at the same time. What I’m trying to say is, Four Loko is terribly awesome. Awesome because two to three cans will get you drunk, but terrible because it tastes like a fat clown’s asshole. And yes, I’m drinking a Four Loko as I type this. Don’t judge me.
Also, I have a new goal for myself and/or my readers: shotgun a can of Four Loko. And take a video of it. First one to do it wins 1000 Chode Points. For the sake of your health though, make sure you’re sober before you do it, because you won’t be when you’re done.

In other news, it’s been a great week in the life of the Chode, for many reasons. First, the Wisconsin football team faced off against the Indiana Hoosiers last Saturday, and the Badgers delivered an 83-20 ass-whooping, despite the fact that star running back John Clay sat out. To put that score in perspective, the Wisconsin basketball team only topped 80 points four times last season. Not to be outdone, however, Bo Ryan’s crew responded with an 85-53 drubbing of some shitty school from the Dakotas. Fortunately, Bo Ryan is more of a sportsman than Bret Bielema, as Bielema kept his third string offense on the field until the end of the game, while Ryan started putting ballboys and cheerleaders on the court at the start of the fourth quarter. Congrats to both teams. Lastly, the Miami Heat dominated the Phoenix Suns Wednesday night, and the Suns beat the Los Angeles Lakers last week. In conclusion, the Heat are better than the Lakers, and Team DLC (Dwyane, LeBron, Chris) is going to take home the title next summer. You heard it here first.
Lastly, Meriter Hospital, where I work, has begun clinical sessions for the Edgewood College nursing students. Subsequently, Meriter has been flooded with smoking hot student nurses for the past week. On a normal week, you’re lucky if you can find one hot nurse per floor at Meriter, but it seems like the three requirements for the Nursing program at Edgewood are to be young, female and attractive. Of course, they’re all dumb as rocks, can’t figure out how to operate a syringe, and there’s no way in hell I would trust any of them with my health, but the hospital is a much happier place with them around. I’m actually looking forward to going to work this weekend.

In basketball news this week, Greg Oden is having season-ending knee surgery for the third time in three seasons as a pro. You gotta feel for the former #1 overall pick, a 22-year old kid trapped in the body of an 80-year old giant. It’s pretty clear now that he’s destined to become this generation’s Sam Bowie to #2 pick Kevin Durant. By the way, I would love to see the Heat sign Oden when he becomes a free agent in the summer, since the Trailblazers aren’t going to keep him.

If you haven’t heard, the second-to-last Harry Potter movie hit theatres at midnight yesterday. As a special Thanksgiving gift, I’m going to save all of you three hours of your life: Harry kills Voldemort, Ron and Hermione hook up, Fred dies, Mad-Eye dies, Snape is a good guy (and also dies), Harry is the last Horcrux, Malfoy lives, and Dumbledore is gay. BELATED SPOILER ALERT!!
I told all of this to a girl last night who hasn’t read any of the books but has watched all of the movies to this point. She was PISSED. Whatever. Your fault for never learning to read, bitch.

Enough bullshit. Time for the picks.

Chode’s All Stars (4-6) vs Brett Favre (4-6)

In case you haven’t noticed, Chode’s All Stars are BACK, baby. Riding a two game winning streak and an 81-point demolition of Will’s Rejects, my team is officially unstoppable. Expect Mike Vick to put up 50 points again this week and lead my team to victory. Also, there’s no way in hell I’m losing to a team named after the Evil One.

Chode’s All Stars by 90

Gotta get up to get down (4-6) vs Its on like Ndamukong (4-6)

I can’t tell you how excited I am for the Packer-Viking game this Sunday. Think about it: Clay Matthews on two healthy legs going after Favre on a broken ankle. I’ve already pissed myself twice in excitement, and it’s not even gameday yet. Also, at this point, Brad Childress is a Dead Mustache Walking, just playing out the string until he gets fired. I predict that the Metrodome will be at least 30% full of Packer fans this week. Maybe more. Minnesota teams have the worst fair-weather fans in the nation. Fuck your 10,000 lakes.

Gotta get up to get down by 8

McClusterFuck (6-4) vs Brett Favre is a Douchebag (5-5)

It’s that time of year again. This week begins four months of wondering why you live in a state where you’re freezing and miserable for almost half of the year. I’ve been asking myself for years, and I haven’t come up with a good answer yet. If didn’t cost hundreds of thousands of dollars more, I’d be heading to Florida for medical school. As much as I love this state, there is absolutely no reason why I couldn’t have been born in South Carolina, Texas, Louisiana, or basically anywhere besides the Midwest. Thanks, parents. Also, I attempted to participate in No-Shave November to keep my face warm, but two weeks in I decided that the beard was far more irritating than warm and got rid of it. 100 Chode Points if you can make it the entire month. Except for you, Eric. You don’t count. Also, 200 Chode Points if you can grow a ginger beard. Looking in your direction, Sawle.

Brett Favre is a Douchebag by 21

Team Beaupre (9-1) vs Brett Favre intercepted texts (8-2)

Brett Favre intercepted texts. Not bad. Keep em coming. Nearly half of the teams in the league are now named after Benedict Brett. I’m not sure how these two teams have combined for 17 wins in 20 contests. It makes no damn sense at all. Pure dumb luck. You’re both peaking too early. Gotta same some for the playoffs, fellas. Speaking of lucky, the Chicago Bears. I don’t feel like I need to explain that one. Regardless, one winning streak is coming to an end in this one. Call it the Midseason Championship game.

Team Beaupre by 0. TIE.

Mountain Dudes (5-5) vs Will’s Rejects (1-9)

Free win for Nate.

Mountain Dudes by 40

Ah, shit. I don’t have a cool video for you this week. Here’s one of a cute kitten.

-Chode Out.

Chode Picks - Week 10

Welcome back friends, and Happy Veteran’s Day. Before we begin, the Chode would like to take a moment to salute the heroes that have defended our great nation for the past 234 years. God bless America.
This week’s picks are brought to you by Everclear Grain Alcohol, fighting the scourge of sobriety since 1958.
Last week was a great one for football in the state of Wisconsin, with the #7 Badgers scoring a 34-13 win over Purdue, and the Packers handing the Dallas Cowboys a 45-7 ass-whooping. I was lucky enough to attend the Sunday night Packer game, and I have to say that it was the best game I’ve seen Green Bay play in person. The Packers dominated every aspect of the game, and the crowd was fantastic, despite the lopsided score. The young, depleted Packer defense forced four turnovers and held Dallas to just 205 total yards, and Aaron Rodgers looked nearly flawless on the offensive end. On the other side of the coin, the Cowboys have clearly thrown down the gauntlet to the Buffalo Bills, challenging them for the title of NFL’s worst team. Team owner Jerry Jones fired head coach Wade Phillips the day after the game, fulfilling Chode’s prophecy (and by prophecy, I mean screaming “You’re gonna get fired!” at Phillips after a stupid Dallas challenge). The only low point of the game for Packer fans was when defensive lineman Ryan Pickett was injured after being inadvertently struck by Clay Matthews’ giant dong as Matthews blew up Marion Barber to stuff the Cowboys on 4th and 1. 

In college football news, I took the time to wade through the Big Ten’s convoluted football tiebreaker procedure this week, and came to the following conclusion: go Buckeyes. I’m not kidding. If Wisconsin, Ohio State and Michigan State all win out, there will be a three-way tie for first place in the Big Ten. Since OSU didn’t play the Spartans this season, the head-to-head tiebreaker doesn’t apply to the three-way logjam. This means that the Big Ten’s Rose Bowl representative would be the team that is ranked the highest in the BCS standings. That team is currently the Wisconsin Badgers. Ohio State plays Penn State, Iowa and Michigan in the last three weeks of the season. Wisconsin should root for the Buckeyes to win all three games, but not by enough that they would jump over Wisconsin in the BCS standings. Of course, if Michigan State loses to Purdue or Penn State, it won’t matter what OSU does as long as the Badgers win out. In summary, we’re all Buckeye fans for the next three weeks. Except for you, Tietz. And it really doesn’t matter who you cheer for because the Gophers are going to finish the season 1-11, with the lone victory coming over Middle Tennessee. At this point, we might as well kick Minnesota out of the Big Ten and let the North Dakota Fighting Sio……….. errr, North Dakotans into the league. Might improve our strength of schedule a bit.

One more college football item before we get to the picks. See if you can follow me here. The Boise State Broncos began the season ranked third. All the Broncos have done since then is go undefeated with an average margin of victory of 34 points, including wins over #10 Virginia Tech and #24 Oregon State. For all of this, the pollsters have rewarded Boise by dropping them to #4, despite the fact that both of the teams ranked ahead of them at the start of the season lost. For most teams, winning all of your games means that you move up in the rankings. For the Broncos, however, it means that you get repeatedly leapfrogged by teams from the so-called “power conferences”. Mark my words, while Oregon plays Auburn in the National Championship game this January, Boise State will be stuck playing TCU in the 3rd annual “Separate but Equal” Bowl. All the Broncos have done for the past three seasons is beat everyone that has been unfortunate enough to play them. It’s time to give Boise a shot at the title.

By the way, the Badgers would totally kick Boise State’s ass if they played in the Rose Bowl.

Chode’s All Stars (3-6) vs ThongPong4LIFE (1-8)

I never thought I would see the day. If you didn’t notice, ThongPong ACTUALLY WON A FREAKING GAME LAST WEEK. Honestly, when I checked the fantasy scores on Monday, I refreshed my browser three times, confident that there must have been some kind of scoring mistake by NFL.com. Nope. Will’s team has escaped the infamy of becoming the first team in league history to go overdefeated. Congratulations. Don’t expect the winning streak to continue, though. My team finally got it’s collective shit together last week, putting me in third place in the division. Chode’s All-Stars are loading up for a late-season run. I can feel it. It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. Unless, of course, you’re the Miami Heat, and in that case if you don’t start the season well, everyone writes you off even though your starting five has yet to play ten games together and Mike Miller will be coming back from injury fairly soon. I might be the only Heat fan in Madison, but I’m sticking with this team until the end. And you’re going to keep reading about it.

Chode’s All Stars by eleventy billion

Gotta get up to get down (4-5) vs Team Beaupre (8-1)

It’s hard to pick Kenne when Roddy White has already scored 35 points for Team Beaupre. Also, I don’t really feel like writing about this matchup, so I’m going to tell you a little about America’s Team: the Oakland Raiders. You heard me. No professional team embodies so much about our nation than the 5-4 Raiders. Frivolous spending? Check. Questionable leadership? Check. Internal bickering? Check. Storied history? Check. Loads of talent? Check. Smokin’ hot cheer-babes? Check. And I’m not even going to mention the Al Davis prostitution scandal. So there you have it: the Oakland Raiders are this season’s America’s Team. Just win, baby.

Team Beaupre by 1976

McClusterFuck (5-4) vs Brett Favre (4-5)

McClusterFuck, eh? Yeah, I would feel that way too if I was responsible for ThongPong’s only win of the season. Shit happens, man. Don’t let it get to you. Peyton Manning knows this, since two days after I anointed him as the greatest football player of all time, he promptly crapped the bed and threw two picks in a loss to the Eagles. He must have read the picks and let it go to his head. That’s the only logical explanation. Shape up, Peyton. You don’t want people to start calling you Eli. Also, I hate to admit it, but Percy Harvin is really good. I don’t understand how the Vikings are so awful with him and Peterson on the field at the same time. Oh that’s right. Brad Childress.

McClusterFuck by 12

Its on like Ndamukong (3-6) vs Mountain Dudes (5-4)

Speaking of dudes who are really good at football, Ndamukong Suh. Apparently the only thing he can’t do is kick extra points. Despite Suh’s presence, I think that the Lions will give the Bills their first win of the season this week, and Detroit fans will start watching Michigan State basketball instead of the NFL for the rest of the year. By the way, Nate, I think your team is awful. I don’t know how you managed to win 5 out of 9 games. You must have cheated. Shame on you.

Its on like Ndamukong by 92

Somewhere over Dwaye Bowe (7-2) vs Brett Favre is a Douchebag (5-4)

Yes. Yes he is. Glad you’re getting the message Dan. If there’s been one recurring theme in the Chode Picks over the past year and a half, its been exactly that: Brett Favre is a bag of douche. Also, Jared/Jon, I’m very disappointed in your lack of a clever new team name this week. Unacceptable. I’m surprised you haven’t been able to come up with a Jenn Sterger reference. Shouldn’t be too hard, you’ve got some material to work with there (more specifically, four inches and a pair of Crocs). Don’t let me down again.

Brett Favre is a Douchebag by 9

I left this last topic until the end of the picks, because frankly, I didn’t want to think about it any more than I had to.
Al Harris, two-time Pro-Bowler, was released by the Green Bay Packers this week. This breaks my heart, because Harris was one of the original Packers that I grew up watching and rooting for. I always admired his physical style of play, and I wish we could have kept him around for the upcoming Super Bowl run. Apparently Coach McCarthy felt that Harris wasn’t going to recover well enough from last season’s torn ACL to contribute to the team. Although I trust McCarthy’s decisions, I’m having a hard time believing that Harris was the least valuable player on the roster. Honestly, we couldn’t have cut Matt Wilhelm, James Starks or Diryal Briggs? I guess the decision reflects the confidence that McCarthy has in Tramon Williams and Sam Shields, but if Harris ends up making another Pro Bowl in Miami, there are going to be a lot of pissed-off cheeseheads, and rightfully so. On a more positive note, the Packers also re-signed TE Spencer Havner this week. One of the links I’m posting this week shows you how to convert an old Favre jersey into a Havner jersey using only white and green electrical tape. The other link is dedicated to Al Harris.

- Chode Out.

Chode Picks - Week 9

Good afternoon, league. This week’s edition of the Chode Picks is brought to you by AMSA, the American Medical Student Association. I originally meant to write out the picks last night, but my friend Kyle was celebrating his 21st birthday, so I stopped over at his place for a few drinks first. Kyle also happens to be the President of the undergraduate chapter of AMSA at UW-Madison. When I got to his apartment, I was astounded at the wide selection of fine beer and liquor that Kyle had assembled in his refrigerator, and decided to stay for a few more drinks. After ten or so my curiosity got the better of me.

Chode: Kyle, where the hell did you get all this booze?
Kyle: Quilling, this is the AMSA credit card. There’s 8000 dollars on it. Let’s go to the bars.
Chode: Lead the way.

Anyways, I didn’t get around to writing much of anything last night, which is too bad, because it’s been a fascinating week, and we have a lot of topics to cover.

First and foremost, you may have heard that the Vikings parted ways with wide receiver Randy Moss earlier this week, proving that Brad Childress is determined to wrest the title of World’s Worst Coach from Chan Gailey and Wade Phillips. Four weeks after trading a third-round pick for Moss, Childress decided to release Randy for nothing, saying that “we want good people”. Yeah, that’s why Brett Favre is your quarterback. Because you want good people. It appears that Minnesota has officially begun waving the white flag on the 2010-2011 season, and I’m dedicating the link of the week to the Vikings in honor of their decision.

Chode’s All Stars (2-6) vs Its on like Ndamukong (3-5)

Sadly, my flag football team, the Mile Hy-Men, lost our second round playoff game to Its on like Ndamukong on Sunday by one point. I had to work Sunday night and couldn’t make it to the game. That’s the only reason we lost. Clearly, if I had been there, we would have won by at least 50. Also, I think this is a good time to point out the divisional gap in our fantasy league. Division II currently has 4 teams with a winning record, and one 4-4 team. Division I has no teams with a winning record. In fact, if you took the last place team in Division II, Brett Favre, and put them in Division I, they would be in first place. Every team in Division II has a positive point differential on the season. Every team in Division I has a negative point differential except for one, Chode’s All Stars. Yet my team is 2-6. This is bullshit. If the season ended today, I wouldn’t make the 8-team playoff. There are 10 teams in the league, and Will doesn’t count. Effectively, I’m in last place. I’ll turn this shit around though, you just wait.

Chode’s All Stars by 20

Gotta get up to get down (4-4) vs Mountain Dudes (4-4)

Good matchup here between the top two teams in Division I. I’d like to take a minute here to reflect on Green Bay’s performance against the Jets last week. The Packer defense, riddled by injuries and missing 5 starters, held the highly-paid, vaunted New York offense to a total of zero points last Sunday. For the first time in months, I’m convinced that this is a playoff team. With the Vikings pretty much out of the divisional race, and with Cutler at quarterback in Chicago (more on him later), I see no reason why the Packers shouldn’t win the NFC North. If they get healthy towards the end of the season, they could even make a Super Bowl run, considering the lack of a dominant team in the NFC this year. Don’t sleep on the Packers.

Mountain Dudes by 7

Aww Yeeaaa Badgers Yeeaaa (5-3) vs ThongPong4LIFE (0-8)

Peyton Manning already owns the record for most NFL MVP awards, and deservedly so. He’s on pace to win #5 this year, and I really don’t see anyone taking it from him unless the Colts implode and Tom Brady leads the Patriots to a 13-3 or 14-2 record. If he wins another Super Bowl, I think he might go down as the greatest player in NFL history. There will never be a Michael Jordan of football, but Manning might be the closest thing we ever see. I’m telling you this because people seem to be taking Manning’s brilliance for granted at this point in his career. Eli’s not bad either.
Before you ask, yes I regret picking ThongPong to beat Team Beaupre last week. Won’t do it again.

Aww Yeeaaa Badgers Yeeaaa by 18

Team Beaupre (7-1) vs Flaming Gingers (5-3)

I should have wrote this piece last week, but I forgot. It still needs to be done, though. 
Jay Cutler is single-handedly destroying Chicago’s season. In their last game against the Redskins, Cutler threw four interceptions………. all to the same guy, DeAngelo Hall. After the game, Cutler told the media: “If I had to do it again, I’d throw it at him every time, if we could”. Let that one sink in. That’s like Hitler saying that he would invade Russia in the winter every time if he could. Jay Cutler is the Jeff George of his generation. All the God-given talent in the world, just too damn arrogant and stupid to put it together. I didn’t think it was possible for me to despise a player more than Brett Favre after last year, but Cutler is making me think twice. How the hell did he graduate from Vanderbilt? Love Smith is going to lose his job after this season, along with Wade Phillips, Brad Childress, and possibly Mike Singletary (I don’t envy the guy that has to tell Singletary he’s fired).

Team Beaupre by 6

Brett Favre (4-4) vs Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe (6-2)

Speaking of awful coaching, Mike Shanahan made an uncharacteristic coaching boner (yes, boner can be used as a euphemism for a stupid decision) by benching six-time Pro Bowl quarterback Donovan McNabb to run his two-minute offense at the end of the Redskins-Lions game last week. Who did Shanahan trust more than McNabb with the game on the line? Rex Grossman. Yep. I don’t care what the question is, Rex Grossman is not the answer. The Redskins also worked out JaMarcus Russell this week. Good God. Has Shanahan lost his fucking mind?
Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe…….. not bad. You can do better though, Jared/Jon.

Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe by 3

As you may have heard, the midterm election season came to an end on Tuesday night. Political newcomer/industry millionaire Ron Johnson defeated incumbent Russ Feingold to end the Democrat’s 17-year run as a US Senator. Milwaukee County Executive Scott Walker defeated Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett to claim Wisconsin’s governor seat to complete the Republican sweep. I voted for both of them. Walker over Barrett wasn’t an especially tough decision, but what sealed the deal for me was the fact the Walker gave 60% of his salary back to the county during his first 5 years in office. Picking Johnson over Feingold was a tougher choice, because Russ has done some good things for the state over the past two decades, but I think it makes sense to elect someone who has been spectacular at saving money in the private sector to do the same for our government. Also, the vote was a referendum on the Obama administration. The voters of Wisconsin sent a clear message to the President on Tuesday, and the message was this: Fuck your healthcare reform and your failed stimulus plan. Don’t tell me who to vote for.
By the way, people in Madison are PISSED about the election. To listen to the majority of the students here, you would think that voting for a Republican is some kind of hideous crime. It’s also a bit funny that many of the liberals that preach about acceptance and open-mindedness are willing to tolerate just about any point of view, except for conservatism. I can’t count the number of liberals I’ve heard bitching about how all the “progress” that was made in the last two years is going to be reversed. Right. I’ll let you know when I see the “progress” they’re talking about. Unless tripling the federal deficit is considered a step in the right direction. Quit your bitching, hipsters. Wisconsin will always be a red state.

-Chode Out.