Chode Picks - Week 9

Good afternoon, league. This week’s edition of the Chode Picks is brought to you by AMSA, the American Medical Student Association. I originally meant to write out the picks last night, but my friend Kyle was celebrating his 21st birthday, so I stopped over at his place for a few drinks first. Kyle also happens to be the President of the undergraduate chapter of AMSA at UW-Madison. When I got to his apartment, I was astounded at the wide selection of fine beer and liquor that Kyle had assembled in his refrigerator, and decided to stay for a few more drinks. After ten or so my curiosity got the better of me.

Chode: Kyle, where the hell did you get all this booze?
Kyle: Quilling, this is the AMSA credit card. There’s 8000 dollars on it. Let’s go to the bars.
Chode: Lead the way.

Anyways, I didn’t get around to writing much of anything last night, which is too bad, because it’s been a fascinating week, and we have a lot of topics to cover.

First and foremost, you may have heard that the Vikings parted ways with wide receiver Randy Moss earlier this week, proving that Brad Childress is determined to wrest the title of World’s Worst Coach from Chan Gailey and Wade Phillips. Four weeks after trading a third-round pick for Moss, Childress decided to release Randy for nothing, saying that “we want good people”. Yeah, that’s why Brett Favre is your quarterback. Because you want good people. It appears that Minnesota has officially begun waving the white flag on the 2010-2011 season, and I’m dedicating the link of the week to the Vikings in honor of their decision.

Chode’s All Stars (2-6) vs Its on like Ndamukong (3-5)

Sadly, my flag football team, the Mile Hy-Men, lost our second round playoff game to Its on like Ndamukong on Sunday by one point. I had to work Sunday night and couldn’t make it to the game. That’s the only reason we lost. Clearly, if I had been there, we would have won by at least 50. Also, I think this is a good time to point out the divisional gap in our fantasy league. Division II currently has 4 teams with a winning record, and one 4-4 team. Division I has no teams with a winning record. In fact, if you took the last place team in Division II, Brett Favre, and put them in Division I, they would be in first place. Every team in Division II has a positive point differential on the season. Every team in Division I has a negative point differential except for one, Chode’s All Stars. Yet my team is 2-6. This is bullshit. If the season ended today, I wouldn’t make the 8-team playoff. There are 10 teams in the league, and Will doesn’t count. Effectively, I’m in last place. I’ll turn this shit around though, you just wait.

Chode’s All Stars by 20

Gotta get up to get down (4-4) vs Mountain Dudes (4-4)

Good matchup here between the top two teams in Division I. I’d like to take a minute here to reflect on Green Bay’s performance against the Jets last week. The Packer defense, riddled by injuries and missing 5 starters, held the highly-paid, vaunted New York offense to a total of zero points last Sunday. For the first time in months, I’m convinced that this is a playoff team. With the Vikings pretty much out of the divisional race, and with Cutler at quarterback in Chicago (more on him later), I see no reason why the Packers shouldn’t win the NFC North. If they get healthy towards the end of the season, they could even make a Super Bowl run, considering the lack of a dominant team in the NFC this year. Don’t sleep on the Packers.

Mountain Dudes by 7

Aww Yeeaaa Badgers Yeeaaa (5-3) vs ThongPong4LIFE (0-8)

Peyton Manning already owns the record for most NFL MVP awards, and deservedly so. He’s on pace to win #5 this year, and I really don’t see anyone taking it from him unless the Colts implode and Tom Brady leads the Patriots to a 13-3 or 14-2 record. If he wins another Super Bowl, I think he might go down as the greatest player in NFL history. There will never be a Michael Jordan of football, but Manning might be the closest thing we ever see. I’m telling you this because people seem to be taking Manning’s brilliance for granted at this point in his career. Eli’s not bad either.
Before you ask, yes I regret picking ThongPong to beat Team Beaupre last week. Won’t do it again.

Aww Yeeaaa Badgers Yeeaaa by 18

Team Beaupre (7-1) vs Flaming Gingers (5-3)

I should have wrote this piece last week, but I forgot. It still needs to be done, though. 
Jay Cutler is single-handedly destroying Chicago’s season. In their last game against the Redskins, Cutler threw four interceptions………. all to the same guy, DeAngelo Hall. After the game, Cutler told the media: “If I had to do it again, I’d throw it at him every time, if we could”. Let that one sink in. That’s like Hitler saying that he would invade Russia in the winter every time if he could. Jay Cutler is the Jeff George of his generation. All the God-given talent in the world, just too damn arrogant and stupid to put it together. I didn’t think it was possible for me to despise a player more than Brett Favre after last year, but Cutler is making me think twice. How the hell did he graduate from Vanderbilt? Love Smith is going to lose his job after this season, along with Wade Phillips, Brad Childress, and possibly Mike Singletary (I don’t envy the guy that has to tell Singletary he’s fired).

Team Beaupre by 6

Brett Favre (4-4) vs Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe (6-2)

Speaking of awful coaching, Mike Shanahan made an uncharacteristic coaching boner (yes, boner can be used as a euphemism for a stupid decision) by benching six-time Pro Bowl quarterback Donovan McNabb to run his two-minute offense at the end of the Redskins-Lions game last week. Who did Shanahan trust more than McNabb with the game on the line? Rex Grossman. Yep. I don’t care what the question is, Rex Grossman is not the answer. The Redskins also worked out JaMarcus Russell this week. Good God. Has Shanahan lost his fucking mind?
Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe…….. not bad. You can do better though, Jared/Jon.

Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe by 3

As you may have heard, the midterm election season came to an end on Tuesday night. Political newcomer/industry millionaire Ron Johnson defeated incumbent Russ Feingold to end the Democrat’s 17-year run as a US Senator. Milwaukee County Executive Scott Walker defeated Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett to claim Wisconsin’s governor seat to complete the Republican sweep. I voted for both of them. Walker over Barrett wasn’t an especially tough decision, but what sealed the deal for me was the fact the Walker gave 60% of his salary back to the county during his first 5 years in office. Picking Johnson over Feingold was a tougher choice, because Russ has done some good things for the state over the past two decades, but I think it makes sense to elect someone who has been spectacular at saving money in the private sector to do the same for our government. Also, the vote was a referendum on the Obama administration. The voters of Wisconsin sent a clear message to the President on Tuesday, and the message was this: Fuck your healthcare reform and your failed stimulus plan. Don’t tell me who to vote for.
By the way, people in Madison are PISSED about the election. To listen to the majority of the students here, you would think that voting for a Republican is some kind of hideous crime. It’s also a bit funny that many of the liberals that preach about acceptance and open-mindedness are willing to tolerate just about any point of view, except for conservatism. I can’t count the number of liberals I’ve heard bitching about how all the “progress” that was made in the last two years is going to be reversed. Right. I’ll let you know when I see the “progress” they’re talking about. Unless tripling the federal deficit is considered a step in the right direction. Quit your bitching, hipsters. Wisconsin will always be a red state.

-Chode Out.