Chode Picks - Week 12

Happy Thanksgiving league, and welcome the week 12 of the Chode Picks. This week’s edition is brought to you by MillerCoors. As the Christmas shopping season begins and we’re assaulted with advertisements from jewelry companies every Sunday, I can’t help thinking that far more kisses will begin with Miller Lite than with Kay diamonds this holiday season. I wish a liquor company would pick that up and run with it. Example: This holiday season, skip the diamonds and buy her shots of Hornitos Tequila. Hornitos: Purer than your intentions. 

Speaking of awesome slogans, I’ve got one for the Green and Gold this season. The 2010 Green Bay Packers: We’ll make you fire your head coach. Watch out, Mike Smith. The firing of Brad Childress was the only unfortunate side effect of the Pack’s 31-3 curb stomping of Minnesota last week. On the other hand, now that the Viking’s playoff chances are officially dead, I’m rooting for them to win enough games to play themselves out of the Andrew Luck sweepstakes in June (I know they’re not mathematically out yet, but no team in the history of the NFL has ever come back from 3-7).
After the game, Judas Favre insinuated that he might not finish the season as Minnesota’s quarterback. You might think that this would make me happy. You’re wrong. The thought of Favre quitting on his team midseason absolutely infuriates me. Favre has been called a lot of things in his career, but the most frequent label put on him (besides gunslinger) is “competitor”. Ask yourself this: would a true competitor retire midseason and leave behind his teammates, the same guys who traveled down to Mississippi to drag his old ass to training camp? No. A real competitor would suck it up and finish the season, as bad as it may get. Even if he gets benched, Favre needs to finish what he started. Otherwise, he’ll be tagged with the most humiliating label in sports: quitter.

On the other side, the Packers have been playing as good or better than anyone in the NFL since starting 3-3. Despite all of the injuries that Green Bay has sustained, the team is playing with toughness and attitude. Ryan Pickett’s quote after the Minnesota game sums it up well: “We wanted to beat them while they were down”.
I may be a bit premature here, but I see a lot of parallels between this team and the 1996 Packers. Both started the season with great expectations, started the season well, suffered some key injuries, stumbled and dropped a few games, then regrouped to make a playoff run. Wait a minute.
(knocking on wood)
Anyways, this week’s game against first-place Atlanta should tell us just how good the Packers are, and could go a long way towards determining home-field advantage in the playoffs.

A few more random thoughts before I get to the picks this week:
- All I want for Christmas is Pat Riley coaching the Heat again.
- The Wisconsin football team might average more points per game than the Wisconsin basketball team this season.
- Jared Abbrederis is the next Luke Swan.
- I’m probably going to Pasadena for the Rose Bowl. Be jealous.
- When the world slips you a Jeffery, stroke the furry walls.

Chode’s All Stars (5-6) vs Mountain Dudes (6-5)

One win away from .500 and first place in Division 1. I’m unstoppable. Woo. Also, I’m projected to score 142 points. One-hundred and forty two. Most of you can’t even count that high. Nate, you’ve got no chance. NO CHANCE.

Chode’s All Stars by 142

Gotta get up to get down (4-7) vs Will’s Rejects (1-10)

Can Kenne bring him 5-game losing streak to a halt against Will’s cast of has-beens and benchwarmers? Probably. On a side note, the Tennessee Titans are 0-3 since signing Randy Moss. Coincidence? No. Moss is a cancer, and he’ll never win a Super Bowl. The Patriots were able to reign him in for a couple of seasons, but make no mistake, this will end badly for the Titans. Ted Thompson knew what he was doing when he passed on trading for Moss a few years ago. Fans love to hate on Thompson, because he doesn’t make flashy moves, he’s boring in interviews, and he’s ugly as hell, but the man has built a championship contender, and the Packers are going to be good for a long time. In Thompson we trust.

Gotta get up to get down by 23

McClusterFuck (7-4) vs Team Beaupre (9-2)

Down goes Team Beaupre! My condolences on losing twice in one season, Mike. Hope you’re doing okay. In typical Team Beaupre fashion though, he’s taken a 46-point lead after Thursday’s games. The loss seems to have only served as further motivation for the recently dethroned Beaupres. Watch out, league. Also, Mike Vick is going to murder the Bears this week. Luck can only carry a team for so long.

Team Beaupre by 11

Its on like Ndamukong (5-6) vs Suck my PeterSon (9-2)

A quote from the midseason champion, Jared Sawle: “Mike Beaupre just tooty fruity, and I whipped his booty”. Well said. It will make more sense after you watch the link of the week (1:08 mark). Sadly, I think Suck my PeterSon’s reign at the top is going to be very short-lived. Its on like Ndamukong is kicking ass right now.
Speaking of Ndamukong, the Detroit Lions currently have the longest streak of road losses in NFL history, with 26. The Lions will go for loss number 27 in a few weeks at Tampa Bay. The previous record for road futility was held by, you guessed it, the Detroit Lions, with 24 consecutive road losses. I honestly don’t think they could win at Oregon. Or Camp Randall, for that matter. Detroit is a combined 4-38 since 2008. Read that again. Four wins in 42 games. Fantastic.

Its on like Ndamukong by 26

Brett Favre (4-7) vs Brett Favre is a Douchebag (5-6)

I have not picked Jason to win yet this year. I am not going to pick Jason to win this year. I AM NOT PICKING JASON TO WIN A GAME THIS YEAR!

Brett Favre is a Douchebag by 4

Breaking news on ESPN.com: Carmelo Anthony has been traded to the Miami Heat.

Don’t forget to tune in and watch the Wisconsin Badgers win their first Big Ten Championship since 2000 this week against Northwestern. The Wildcats have given us some trouble in recent years, but there’s no way in hell the Badgers are going to let them rob us of a trip to the Rose Bowl. John Clay/James White/Montee Ball will be far too much for Northwestern to handle this week.

Made you look, didn’t I? (Carmelo)

-Chode Out.