Chode Picks - Week 8

Hello again, and welcome to the 2010 Halloween edition of the Chode Picks, brought to you by Bud Light, the breakfast of champions. Words cannot describe how excited I am for this weekend, which officially begins in three hours and nineteen minutes (7:00PM Thursday). With the Badgers on their bye week, the holiday comes at the perfect time for UW-Madison students, and you can literally feel the excitement walking around campus. It also helps that Wisconsin beat Iowa last week and that the Packers took out Judas and the Vikings last weekend. More on the Green Bay-Minnesota game later.

For the first time in over three decades, the Wisconsin Badgers have defeated two top-15 ranked teams in consecutive weeks. With their 31-30 road win over the Hawkeyes, the Badgers have leaped into the top 10 in the BCS rankings, and seem poised to run the table. Here’s how the rest of Wisconsin’s schedule looks: at Purdue, home against Indiana, at Denard Robinson, and finally home against Northwestern. I’m not worried about the first two games, but Northwestern always seems to find a way to shit on the Badgers near the end of the season, and Robinson is a talented and dangerous team. (Editors note: apparently, there will be 10 other guys on the field with Denard against Wisconsin. Has this been happening all season?) Regardless, if the Badgers win out, they still need Michigan State to lose twice in order to reach the Rose Bowl. Raise your hand if you thought the Spartans would be the last undefeated team in the Big Ten. Put your hand down. You’re lying. Even if MSU doesn’t lose twice, however Wisconsin should still make their first BCS bowl game since 2000 if they finish 11-1. Stay tuned. And in the meantime, wrap your heads around this:

Wisconsin beats Iowa by 1
Iowa beats Iowa State by 28
Iowa State beats Texas by 7
Texas beats Nebraska by 7
Nebraska beats Idaho by 21
Idaho beats North Dakota by 45

Therefore, Wisconsin beats North Dakota by 109. Suck it, Jon.

Also, I was wrong when I said that the Badgers have the two best running backs in the Big Ten. Forgive me. What I meant to say is that the Badgers have the THREE best running backs in the Big Ten. John Clay, James White and Montee Ball make up the greatest three headed monster in college football history. It’s almost unfair. It’s like three NBA All-stars decided to sign with the same team. Speaking of which………

The Miami heat lost their first game of the season against Boston. The Celtics then turned around and lost to the Cleveland Cavaliers the very next night, proving Dan Gilbert’s claim that the Cleveland will win an NBA Championship before Miami does. Hold on, I need to change my pants, I just pissed myself laughing. I’m not worried about the loss to the Celtics, because It’s going to take a while for Dwyane, LeBron and Chris to get the hang of playing with each other. Once they develop some chemistry and find their roles though, watch out. Also, in honor of King James’ newest Nike commercial (what should I do?), I’m opening up the Chode Picks to suggestions. Put a topic on the Facebook group, and I’ll try to find an angle to write about it in the picks next week. 

Its on like Ndamukong (3-4) vs Flaming Gingers (4-3)

If you haven’t noticed yet, Dan is making an attempt to acquire an all-Titans team. Why? I have no damn idea. Its not going to work, but if Dan wants to throw away his season, who am I to tell him not to? 
My intramural flag football team plays our second playoff game this Sunday, against a team named Its on like Ndamukong. Our team name is the Mile Hy-Men, with Denver Bronco colors. I have yet to hear a better flag football team name. Let me know if you have one. Our opponents this week finished the regular season 2-2, while we went 3-1. Somehow, they got a first round bye and we didn’t. We’re going to kick their asses. By the way, I’m leading the league in sacks. Thought you should know.

Flaming Gingers by 7

Gotta get up to get down (4-3) vs Brett Favre (3-4)

Revenge is a dish best served cold and with a side of broken ankle. The Traitor’s karmic choke/injury last week was long overdue. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that the Packers defense is going to be responsible for the end of Benedict Brett’s ironman streak. And you thought I was full of shit when I said the Vikings would miss the playoffs this year (yes, I know I also said the 49ers would make the playoffs). From now on at my apartment, whenever a player completely overshoots the table in beer pong, it will be referred to as a “Brett Favre”. Also, I want to let you in on a wager I made with one of my Minnesotan roommates at the start of the year: whichever teams is knocked out of the playoffs first, the loser must yell the name of the other team’s starting quarterback the next time they sleep with a girl. I’ll make sure I’m in the apartment when my buddy Jake screams “AARON RODGERS!” this winter.

Gotta get up to get down by 12

Aww Yeeaaa Badgers Yeeaaa (4-3) vs Mountain Dudes (4-3)

I’d like to give a shout out to the Menomonie Indians this week, who won their first round playoff game against Holmen on Tuesday night in dominating fashion, 35-7. The 11th ranked Indians play Merrill next week, the same team that ended their season a year ago. Don’t count on it happening again. I think this Menomonie team has a legitimate shot at taking home the Division II state championship. Of course, if they choke against the Blue Jays on Saturday, I’ll put my foot in my mouth. I’m going to keep picking Dave as long as Wisconsin keeps winning.

Aww Yeeaaa Bagers Yeeaaa by 1848

Chode’s All Stars (2-5) vs Romo Witten his pants (5-2)

Another week, another glorious loss for Chode’s All Stars. Things will turn around eventually. Same for Jared, only in his case they turned around very quickly when Tony Romo broke his collarbone last week. A smart man would trade for a capable quarterback in this situation, say Carson Palmer or Mike Vick. For the low, low price of Andre Johnson, either one is a bargain that you simply can’t pass up, Jared. Just do it. Click “accept trade”. Do it now. Also, I’m disappointed in your team name this week. Between you and Jon, “Romo Witten his pants” was the best you could come up with? Booooooooooooo.

Chode’s All Stars by 6.02x10^23

Team Beaupre (6-1) vs ThongPong4LIFE (0-7)

Bit of a David vs Goliath situation here. Mike is 6-1, in first place and has a full, healthy, talented roster. Will is 0-7, dead last, and half of his roster spots are empty. But you know what? America loves an underdog. If the New Orleans Saints can win a Super Bowl, the Rangers can beat the Yankees, Ron Johnson can beat Russ Feingold, and Rocky can beat Ivan Drago, then ThongPong4LIFE can beat Team Beaupre. Count on it.

ThongPong4LIFE by 1

That’s all for the picks this week. Have an awesome Halloween weekend.

-Chode Out.